Why Am I Here?

Why am I here?

So, always one to take criticism constructively, I guess I had better actually be honest this time. (If you are unaware of what I am talking about, this is now revision No.5 of my assignment for Blogging 101) I am here to write, that is all.

My reasons are simple,it’s all I have ever known, it’s what I do, and it’s all I feel I am good at. A quote that springs to mind is in The Dark Knight, when The Joker says; “I’m like a dog chasing a car, I wouldn’t know what to do with it if I had it, I just do.” That’s kind of how I feel about writing, I know I want to do this, but I’m not sure how, so my only option is to chase that car, because, I just do, that’s why.

I have tried blogging before, I managed a very unsuccessful blog several years ago that was basically me rambling on for post after post about nonsense really. It didn’t get many views, but, it was a good experience, because, I just gave up on writing after that. I thought ‘Why am I doing this, live in the real world, you aren’t a writer and you never will be.’ So I focused on my ‘real’ job, and got, bored. Then about 6 months ago, I stumbled onto that old blog, I laughed at myself a little, and forgot about it again. Or at least I tried to, see the thing is, it seemed to stick in my head, I couldn’t get out of my mind how exciting it was to air my thoughts. Especially, when 6 months ago, upon viewing the blog, I had received, over 5 views!!!

Yeah, you can laugh at that, go on, I know you want to :).

But, you know, it was nice, people had heard my voice, and I wanted to have that feeling again. I have been in a writing group for over a year now, and they hear me reading my stories, but a group of 5/6 writers telling stories in a pub is never going to compare to the thrill of shoving my thoughts onto the web, naked and bare for all to see. So I thought to myself, ‘structure Charlie, you need some structure’.

Being a guy with the attention span of a gnat, structure is as rare as diamond farting jellyfish in my world. The 3 unfinished novels, 1 idea for a screenplay, an unfinished DIY table and a half painted canvas lay around my house as bitter testament to that. I am a guy with a lot of ideas and no concentration.

But, being someone who has a compulsion to write, I knew I had to write something. That’s when it hit me, I can write short articles, I can watch a TV show, and assuming I have an hour free, I can write 500 words saying what I liked or didn’t like. It’s not terribly informative, quite whimsical, and often pointless, but it’s mine.

And that is why I do this, because I have to, I have no other choice, and what I write and the way I write is really just a way for me to find a little space in the world where I can make my voice heard. It isn’t a loud voice, and you may not want to hear it, but, for me, just knowing it is heard at all is all I need to keep me happy.

Charlie.

 

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14 thoughts on “Why Am I Here?

  1. You and I have similar issues. I too have so many ideas and hard time with follow through. Thus the blog, I hope it keeps you as focused in the same way it works for me.

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    • Cheers bud,
      I’m just going to have to start using some of my will power to keep focused… Looks like I won’t be giving up smoking anytime soon though lol…

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  2. Hey there,Charlie, I like writing that tells it like it is – and this post does just that. Glad you’re doing 101, will look out for more from you.

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  3. Charlie we are on the same boat dude! My head is boiling with ideas and incomplete missions. I suggest you check out Steven Pressfield’s ART OF WAR, the first introductory writings about resistance.

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    • I’ll make sure to check it out, thanks for the heads up bud… I’m glad I’m not the only one who has trouble getting himself organised 🙂

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  4. I loved reading this, so honest and really, it is such a great reason to write a blog! I especially like the section where you talk about looking back on what the old you had written. I always find it so interesting to do things like that, because obviously it is something written by you, but that person has become so much more since then because of life. It always makes me wonder what me in 5 years time will think of the me as I am now. I wonder what they would say to me….
    Sass x

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  5. So you like Zombies 🙂 I Love playing Dawn of the Dead. Just saw Transendence and won’t blog about it for many reasons one being a sloooooow beginning and middle, but people turn into zombies sorta of, you might like the movie. It didn’t quite make my movie justice list. BTW, I like your blog, that you like TV, and that you’re honest. I think we all feel like you. But now that I made a friend, I feel better too and it is nice to have a voice so keep writing Charlie 🙂

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    • Mate, favorite zombie movie of all time… Romano’s Dawn of the Dead…. I know it looks really s**t by today’s standards, but I love it right down to the weird blue make-up on the zombies (what’s up with that?)… Glad you like like what I wrote bud 🙂

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      • That was an awesome movie … I see the Brad Pitt movie about Zombies sometime in May … a bit late, but I’ll let you know. This might sound weird but I like passive zombies rather than the movies about sicko zombies who kill … I saw this Latin American zombie movie that still frightens me to think about it, but when they only walk around it’s fun. I walk in the Zombie Walk we have every year and dress up. Question: How do you add this type of Chat to our blogs? U can be my teacher. That’s one feature I want the most. I said it on Blogging 101 but I guess had to wait until we get there. So kool you’re in the UK!

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      • I’ll be honest bud… I don’t really know, it just came with the theme as far as I know, I’m using ‘twentyfourteen’ if that’s any help…… ps I agree, shamblers over runners anyday of the week, although saying that, 28 Days Later s**t me right up….

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  6. The only thing I can be certain of is that the person you will be in five years won’tt even recognise the person you are now… That can be a bad thing or a good thing, I guess its all about perspective 🙂

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  7. That’s good 411, I’ll find out so maybe in the given themes it comes w/it … ok, I was wondering how so many people made their backdrops too. I’ll check out twentyfourteen, thanks. I’ll weight to explore it soon enough. It’s not hard, just a new site to explore and uncover all its’ treasures matey 🙂 Yea, I mainly play the zombie video game and stick to super hero movies, more of a thrill for me. Keep up with me and visa versa, I’m out for today. Glad for the chat. You’re number 12.

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  8. I know what you mean about having that compulsion to write…and having 15 unfinished “things” going. I don’t know why I’m doing my blog either, other than to write. That’s it. Something will come of it….or it won’t. Great post!

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