Why am I here?
So, always one to take criticism constructively, I guess I had better actually be honest this time. (If you are unaware of what I am talking about, this is now revision No.5 of my assignment for Blogging 101) I am here to write, that is all.
My reasons are simple,it’s all I have ever known, it’s what I do, and it’s all I feel I am good at. A quote that springs to mind is in The Dark Knight, when The Joker says; “I’m like a dog chasing a car, I wouldn’t know what to do with it if I had it, I just do.” That’s kind of how I feel about writing, I know I want to do this, but I’m not sure how, so my only option is to chase that car, because, I just do, that’s why.
I have tried blogging before, I managed a very unsuccessful blog several years ago that was basically me rambling on for post after post about nonsense really. It didn’t get many views, but, it was a good experience, because, I just gave up on writing after that. I thought ‘Why am I doing this, live in the real world, you aren’t a writer and you never will be.’ So I focused on my ‘real’ job, and got, bored. Then about 6 months ago, I stumbled onto that old blog, I laughed at myself a little, and forgot about it again. Or at least I tried to, see the thing is, it seemed to stick in my head, I couldn’t get out of my mind how exciting it was to air my thoughts. Especially, when 6 months ago, upon viewing the blog, I had received, over 5 views!!!
Yeah, you can laugh at that, go on, I know you want to :).
But, you know, it was nice, people had heard my voice, and I wanted to have that feeling again. I have been in a writing group for over a year now, and they hear me reading my stories, but a group of 5/6 writers telling stories in a pub is never going to compare to the thrill of shoving my thoughts onto the web, naked and bare for all to see. So I thought to myself, ‘structure Charlie, you need some structure’.
Being a guy with the attention span of a gnat, structure is as rare as diamond farting jellyfish in my world. The 3 unfinished novels, 1 idea for a screenplay, an unfinished DIY table and a half painted canvas lay around my house as bitter testament to that. I am a guy with a lot of ideas and no concentration.
But, being someone who has a compulsion to write, I knew I had to write something. That’s when it hit me, I can write short articles, I can watch a TV show, and assuming I have an hour free, I can write 500 words saying what I liked or didn’t like. It’s not terribly informative, quite whimsical, and often pointless, but it’s mine.
And that is why I do this, because I have to, I have no other choice, and what I write and the way I write is really just a way for me to find a little space in the world where I can make my voice heard. It isn’t a loud voice, and you may not want to hear it, but, for me, just knowing it is heard at all is all I need to keep me happy.